read the signs

It’s been a while now, since I complained about exam stress and emotional shit and whatnot. Here I am again.

Lemme be straight here folks.

I don’t wanna be a sadass loser, but I’m really down man. It’s not like I don’t wanna man up and tell her – I already know the answer, so what can I say. I’m a mere classmate that exists, that does not affect or impact in anyway her life – it’s proven man. She’s up there and I’m down here. It’s not fair, it just isn’t. Why the fuck did I fall into this trap.

Low confidence much? Tell me about it.

Writing this shit here’s supposed to help me feel better. Ain’t working.

I don’t get you!

Last night was the worst night ever. I barely slept, I felt hot and cold, I threw up. Please, people, do not get sick it’s the worst shit ever. Drink lots of fluids and don’t eat too much ben&jerry’s. I hope I can catch some sleep now.

If I had three wishes I’d give you two.

I haven’t done this in eons. I want to thank all my teachers for the effort and I know it sounds cheesy but hey I wouldn’t spend that much time on my students if I were a teacher. I’d totally slack off and leave em’ to die and tell their parents they should study harder (: Anyway, prelims are over and it’s the one week break now and more than often I’m bored and I refuse and I’m down with soar throat and fever and I hope it’s not the virus and I’m happy now cos there’s more ben&jerry’s in the fridge and I think I should cut some weight and start running and I think I should study now (not)

Anywho, I would like to express my sorrow for Michael Jackson’s death. He was a good man. People sued him but I choose not to believe in the foundation-less sentences. He was a legend and I think I’ll remember him for that.

I want you.

Eat study sleep. How lovely.

Recently I have discovered a small corner of my house that gives me the serenity I need, it’s so unusual but yay. So there’s this really important competition this sunday and I hope I’ll do well enough and on thursday my oral will go well and on saturday I’ll meet shane!

Oh and I have started on this money saving plan and it’s been good!

MOTLEYCREW

After reading Keefe’s entry I’ve reflected on some heartfelt thoughts about the four years that strided past so quickly.

2006: I joined this school. I was childish and was a loser to the max. However I joined this class which provided a sense of belonging. It was only then I felt settlement in this school. Punishment in the days are now fond memories of our mischief. We sweat together and we grew.

2007: Streaming year. I remember absent-mindedly joining the dota hype, begging my aunt for the seventy dollar video game. I vividly remember rainy afternoons where we stayed in class for self-study sessions. The humid air and stench of sweat we’re so used to. Bad learning and really slacking. I only bucked up in the last three weeks before the final year’s and somehow I managed.

2008: Unfortunately, more slack. But I believe this was an important phase of my life. I learnt so much and I’ve grown so tall. You’ve taught me so much. The extra load of subjects became manageable and chinese became a problem, a hurdle so high I thought I’d trip and fall over. I remember the arduous grinding of chinese and the intensive sessions, that was most memorable from the curriculum. And we were swimming and playing on the day before the exam!

2009: Senior year. I’m mostly guilty because revision hasn’t been on my schedule (it has but I’m too lazy) but I’m picking up. Once again I think I’ve grown. And somehow I learnt to see and study people, and unfortunately my school holds a majority of children rather than men. I’m truly glad that my peers and I fall under the mature category (well most of us)

NOW LET’S GIDDY UP AND DO THISSSSSSS.

Undoubtly, I’ll miss this short period of time we spent together.

We’ll move forward and have beautiful tracks to reflect upon.

dim arrested light?

Today I experienced rare simplicity and I’m very happy. I have eaten Ben&Jerry’s so I’m pretty much the happiest man of Earth now with revision to do. Alright gotta sleep right now Goodnight world.

the broken bicycle!

Hey.

CHEER UP

It’s not fair that you meet all the jerks and everything, and I know your life will get better, cos you’re so worth it. You’re too nice for your own good, shortpants. Next time, don’t even think of devouring ice cream alone alright cos I’m always nearby (like literally hello) so you can call me anytime. And I know you might be reading this in your dim-lit room with taylor swift playing in the background as usual and if you are you can come over and get a big bear hug I’m absolutely times ten thousand positive that you’ll find happiness cos’ you deserve every bit of it.

Love, (ah)Ben.

Who said there’re so such things as stupid questions.

So firstly, I’ve been incredibly lazy and the exams are just five months away and I’m really scared but somehow my brain refuses to work and my limbs are ever so defiant.

HELLO BEN FUTURE AT STAKE. KINDA LIKE THE TIME TO START WORKING. NOW.

Anyway, I WANNA BE A PILOT. This cuts the queue of all my previous dreams. Seriously ain’t it the best job on earth. I can fly and see and play and fly and see and play. I’m controlling the plane. I’m flying. I cannot wait. I spoke with this SIA pilot who came to our school, it’s like so hard to get since they’re flying 20 out of 30 days a month, and it was great. I was so excited when he was speaking about the courses, the passion, the flight, the lift, how it isn’t all auto-flight and the schedule and lifestyle of a pilot! Like on the edge of my seat kind (and smiling like crazy)

But there’s an off side. FAMILY OMG TEN OUT THIRTY DAYS I’M IN SINGAPORE. I’M GONNA MISS MY BABIES’ FIRST WORD, FIRST LAUGH, BIRTHDAYS AND SO MANY OTHERS. GOODNESS.

Happy Birthday Dad.

I am truly most sincerely genuinely happy when I saw the look on his face. Oh my goodness, he was so happy, and that made me happier! I’m so glad things are working out with my dad and I. 

THANKS DAVE FOR HELPING

I’ll upload the pictures when I find my phone cable. It’s been so hot lately. Today I saw this toddler that had the cutest smile and biggest poodle eyes (and she actually reacted when I made faces) and I was like I WANT A CHILD.

Let’s pretend the world is gonna end in 2012.

I’ll have a relationship this year, get married next year, have children in the following, so I’ll have a family by 2012. Cool huh

Overjoyed

Your significance is fading. I am afraid.

 

I have concluded that I am very easily satisfied but I’m not all that happy.

Anyway, updates. I have (finally) been engaging in adequate studying and all these productive thoughts make me so happy at times

This cracked me up:

What did Sushi A say to Sushi B.

Wassup B!